5 of the Most Hideous Sunglasses Ever Made

 

Every now and again a fashion statement comes along that is so hideous that you cannot tell whether it is legitimate or a joke. We have seen more than one such statement in the arena of sunglasses. Over the years there have been some truly remarkable designs that made us question everything we know about fashion decency.

Below are descriptions of five of the most hideous sunglasses ever made. As you read, bear in mind that fashion is a very personal thing. Salt Lake City’s Olympic Eyewear might not push the envelope too far because they know their customers are more conservative. On the other hand, Oakley would think nothing of ripping the envelope wide-open. Both companies have no trouble selling their sunglasses.

1. Over the Head

First on the list are over-the-head sunglasses. Oakley gets the top prize in this category for their OTT FMJ+ sunglasses. Instead of having arms that extend outward from each side of the frames, the OTT looks like a harness you wear on top of your head.

The harness look itself is strange enough. But Oakley decided to kick things up a notch by complementing the silver frames with lenses in colors like bright pink, yellow, and orange. These sunglasses truly look like something out of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Can you say Borg Collective?

2. Tasseled Shades

What do you get when you take rectangular frames and adorn them with silver tassels? You get hideous looking sunglasses that are truly indescribable. A number of celebrities have been known to wear them, including Beyoncé.

It’s one thing to wear tassels on a jacket or a dress, but to have them hanging from your face makes you look like a 1970s Christmas tree with way too much tinsel. This is not a look that will endear you to people who prefer Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree.

3. Censor Bar Sunglasses

Have you ever seen videos in which identities are protected by placing straight black lines over the eyes? Those lines are called censor bars. Well, it turns out you could buy sunglasses made to resemble censor bars a couple of years back.

The design was actually quite ingenious. Designers took a set of arms and attached them to the backside of a long, black bar. The edges of the bar extended beyond the arms, thus hiding the arms from the front. This produced the look of genuine censor bar across your face.

4. Single Lens Sports Glasses

Number four on our list is actually a category rather than a single model: sports sunglasses with single lenses. For some inexplicable reason, most of these sunglasses just look strange. A lot of them are oversized, and some seem to have frames and lenses that are oddly shaped just for the sake of being so.

5. Geordi La Forge Sunglasses

There will only be one lieutenant Geordi La Forge. Likewise, they will never be a pair of real sunglasses that look anything close to what the fictional character war on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Can we please stop trying to copy that look?

Single lens sunglasses with no discernible nose piece are just not that attractive. In fact, they can be frightening to small children. Let’s leave that look to sci-fi and get back to normalcy, shall we?

Hopefully this post put a smile on your face. The point was to demonstrate just how individualized style can be. Remember, it’s all good. Don’t be afraid to wear whatever sunglasses float your boat – even if they look hideous to the rest of us.

Paul Petersen

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